The Real Me

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05|26|18

So another day, another entry. And this is me. Like I do in all of my journals let me introduce myself:

This Blog Belongs To:

Gabrielle Lanae Beverly

02|14|17- present

Where do I start? Well let’s just jump into this, my hand is getting tired from holding my pen. I am a Capricorn, brought into this earth by 2 Sagittarius parents (early December birthdays to be exact). I love art, from drawings and sketches to paintings and mixed media. I love colors and shapes, lines and designs. Growing up, you never caught me leaving the house without a notebook, pen, pencil, and music. And yes, that was my sketchbook until I grew up into the big leagues of paper pads and such. I work as a Geo-Spatial Artist at FlightSafety International, originally starting off part-time for 2 years (2013-2015) and then worked full-time now since 2015. So a art lover, a graphics modeler, a music lover, and a big kid at heart who loves watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. And all the while… I have bipolar disorder.

Now let’s start diving in a little deeper. So imagine growing up as a little girl with goals of being a fashion designer, and in the process, trying to survive all of elementary school from kindergarten to 4th grade, being bullied physically and verbally everyday by someone the same age as you. Then after getting a break, the bullying only gets worst once you get into Middle School, and then is secretly hidden when you get into high school. In the midst of all the bullying, I would come home most days upset, crying in tears, and even terrified to go back to school when I was little. Once middle school and high school came around and the bullying stayed, I went from constant back and forth series of mood swings (mostly deep depression), I stayed in my room after I finished homework, I write in my journal until I have filled 5 to 7 pages up in 1 day of something that was really bothering me. Other days, I would be lucky to get at least 1 page filled if not 2. Now we’re in senior year of 2008, bullying gets worst, depression got worst to where I was sleeping all day, and not really eating. My parents didn’t know what to do because I needed help, but I didn’t know how to come to them about it. So we did research, ran the diagnosis, and October that year, I had Bipolar brought on by Depression. We went through a few different doctors until I found one that I was comfortable talking to. I had to take medicine, which some of the first trial messed me up to where I was in a zombie-like state. It was hard on everyone, my parents, myself, even some of my teachers got worried about my health during class because I would be sleep for half of the period. But we took time to do research day-by-day, and I still chose writing as my outlet to release all my feelings. Long story short, I graduated high school, graduated from ITT, and landed my now full-time job 2 months after graduation. So even though they said I couldn’t do it, I manage to get it done with a smile on my face.

I wanted to create this blog to not only put my story out there, but to also show others how you can still live a simple life, and take control of the mental illness you have. In my case, thanks to doing the research, my faith, and my support system, I’m now doing better than I was back in my younger years. I still have some growing to do, and I’m still learning how to manage some things in my life right now. And while reading this blog, there are going to be some good days and some bad days. But that’s what makes it so fun, right? My goal is to just make friends with other people that been through the same things I have, to let them know that you’re not alone, and give my advice and tips on how to deal with…life and the mental illness you have. Plus, I love writing when I can so it’s like a win-win situation. So now that I’ve shared my story with you guys, I want to share more. But my pen is out of ink and it’s getting late. Well time for me to unwind and get into my night routine:making some tea, taking my medication, and getting a good night’s rest after some “quiet time.” Until next time, happy reading.

Let the entries flow…

 

 

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