So just got done doing my evening meditation. As the start of the new year, one of my goals was to focus on my health again. I was doing well towards the middle of last year, my A1C went down, my cholesterol levels were ok, everything was good…except my blood pressure. So not only did I needed to check my weight, but I had to control what triggered both numbers for my BP.
Just a few minutes ago, I started back reading Day 1 of my book “Thin Within.” Thanks to one of my doctors, they told me that this would be a good book for me to start on my weight loss journey. Tonight’s reading talked about enjoying God’s Lavish Love. Throughout the 1st chapter, the book talks about how God loves no matter what size or weight we are, and how we should not restrict ourselves to certain things to eat. The whole time I was reading this, I would think back on how I was in high school when I would take my walking class. I watched what I ate, I walked during the class, I even walked outside of class, and I made sure that I stayed healthy, but I still wasn’t seeing the results that I wanted and when it came to eating, I wasn’t really eating the foods that I really loved to eat.
Another thing that I’ve struggled with is loving myself and my body. I would always be with the group of girls in school. I would have a crush on a guy, and at the end of the day, the guy would come up to me asking me about one of the other girls to ask them out OR telling me they saw me as a friend before moving towards said girl. After times like that, I would go home, and look in mirror thinking things like am I not smart enough, pretty enough, girly enough??? What was wrong with me that the boys just didn’t like me? As I got older, I realized that some boys stay boys as they get older, and that I had to find out my own worth, and God had to help me realize that on my own. Still figuring out who I am, what I like, or what I don’t like. But I am now enjoying the journey, and now I have moments where I’ll look in the mirror as I’m getting dressed and look at my body, and smile.
I’ll give myself hugs, I’ll say positive things, and sometimes, I’ll just stare and smile, and even giggle knowing that God made me the way I am. And I’m learning to except it. So as I’m learning to except that, I’m also starting to take my health more seriously now. I’ve been keeping track of my migraines, I’ve started taking vitamins in the morning before work, and I’m trying to start off my day with water (still a work in progress since I am a coffee person). And next, I will be doing my evening workout before I take a nice, relaxing shower, and getting ready for bed. But tonight’s reading was very inspiring, and really touched me, and made me feel better about myself and my body.
So, I will keep in touch with you guys on these journeys I’m taking and keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue to stay positive through this. Also, if you guys want some nightly reading, I’ll leave a list of scriptures from Day 1 here in my post for your viewing pleasure.