3.25.17

It’s Saturday…

I have sipped my cup of tea so I am ready to vent majorly on some things.

So grab your cup of coffee, tea, (or favorite liquor) and put on some comfy clothes, it’s about to get real.

Now, as some of you know, I was diagnosed with bipolar back in 2008. During that time, I was hanging out with the wrong crowd of people, doing things that weren’t me, being sneaky and distant from family, and just going down a dark spiral of emotions.

Fast forward to now, I have been taking medication which is helping me control my mood swings, I have someone I can go to for help if needed, my relationship with family is better than it was before, and I now have an honest support group of family and close friends, and also a decent relationship with God (still improving on that by the way). Overall, from then to now, I have made MAJOR progress in different aspects of my life, and been feeling even happier than before. That’s when trouble seems to try and find me. The perfect example of that is this week.

Earlier this month, someone from my past manage to get a hold of me thanks to a family member running into me on my route home (Mistake 1: giving them my number to give to them like a good messenger). Feeling guilty about the whole situation, I called them just say hello (Mistake 2: Making contact even though I shouldn’t have) and the final mistake that was a red flag was that in the midst of our conversation, this person said they wanted to hang out with me, just like the old days. That told me that they wanted me to be the old, quiet,Β promiscuous Gabby, who did things that you wanted to do, and instead of voicing my opinion, I went along with it, knowing it wasn’t right nor was it good for me.

Fast forward to this week, I blocked the number and thought all was well…until I started receiving text messages Tuesday night, so at this point I was in a state of anxiety, panic, and major stress because I wanted to let the person know that I didn’t want to talk to them nor hang out with them anymore because I didn’t want to slip into my old habits again like before. My silver lining was a 2 part radio series on my InTouch app that talked about getting away with sin, the consequences of sin, and having the confidence to turn away from sin and temptation and to continue moving forward with God.

After replaying these series for what felt like 100 times, and thinking it over, I took care of the situation thanks to God’s help. This person texted me again numerous times last night, so since I blocked the number, I politely texted them how I felt about hanging out with them, and that it was best to stop talking to them and not hang out with them anymore. At first, from the tone in the person’s voice through text, I thought things were going to go south, but they supported my decision and I have not heard from them since last night. I don’t want to sound mean, but I know what’s going to happen if I slip up again, and I don’t need any negativity, drama, and anything that is going to make me go back to my old ways.

I’m on a new journey, and I want to keep it that way.

Anyway, time to do a little reading, so I will talk to you guys later.

Until tomorrow…

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