It is almost midnight now… and I am back!
Ok, so earlier this morning, I was blogging from the comfort of a couch at my mother’s house before leaving for work. A couple hours later, I was blogging to you from the comfort of a rocking chair at my Nana’s house. And now, I am back once again, in the comfort of my comfy chair in my room.
So the past posts, my day for the most part has been going great. Until I came home to find something on my phone that I wish I didn’t see. Something that slightly changed my mood from happy to a little irritated and annoyed. Long story short, the past is trying to come back into my life and I don’t want it back.
I feel like just when I thought the past was FAR behind me, something or someone comes out of the blue to try and either throw it back in my face OR make me turn back to my old ways. The good thing is I know that the past is in the past, and I’ve done a whole 360 since high school, and since college. The bad thing is that parts of my past keep showing up, and even though I try to push them away or fend them off of me, they end up staying glued to me. I’m in a place in my life where I’m happy , I am content with what I have, I’m working hard to maintain a good life. The last thing I need is any kind of negative distraction to keep me off the right path.
My relationship with certain people are stronger than ever now, other relationships are dead and gone, and a few keep trying to come back thinking things are going to work out, but the crazy thing is that things are not going to work out, they’re not going to be the same, even though that person may want it to be. The other thing is that “The Past” thinks I’m still the same old Gabby from elementary to high school, that I’m going to do everything you say, and remain the same person. Well that’s another thing, over the years, I have really changed. I know right from wrong, and even though we are human and we make mistakes, I know NOT to make the same mistakes again. I am moving forward with my life, I have a great support system with friends, and family, and God. I’m building my relationship with Him because I want that to be stronger and I want to remain close to Him. To the ones that don’t want me to change and want me to be the old Gabby, the one that was troubled and needed help, they’re not going to get that Gabby anymore.
I want a fresh start, a clean start, a new start, this is 2017. For me, this has been a year of nothing but blessings for me so far. I am so thankful for that, I thank God for that. I’ll say it again on here, thank you Lord for bringing me this far. I am humble, and yes I have my days, but I know that I got to remain on the straight and narrow. I don’t want to slip up and mess up again. I did that once, and I’m not going to do that again. I’m NOT going to settle for less when I know I can have God’s best. I just wanted to get that off my chest tonight before I laid my head down because I didn’t want to think about it anymore.
Well time for me to climb under the covers and call it a night.
Until tomorrow for sure…